Archive for June, 2005

FU, person who broke into my car!

I’d just like to give a BIG FU to the person who broke into my car yesterday.

FU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for breaking my car window even though there was nothing visible in my car.  I hope you enjoy my soccer boots, my purple soccer uniform, jumper cables and the cassette tape mixes from 1980s and "The Trial of Mary Ellen".  If I see you walking down the street in my soccer uniform pumping my bad-ass 80s tapes, in the stereo you stole from one of the cars behind mine, I’ll want to torture you until you wish you were dead.

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The philosophy of facial hair: by Robert Pezely

The other night we were having dinner with our friends Pete and Sue.  Pete recently quit his big-time job and in his temporary retirement he’s grown out a goatee and was asking for opinions.

Here was the best explanation I’ve ever heard for the question: mow or grow?
Unless you’re Mr. T, I’d take heed of these words of wisdom.

The Philosophy of Facial Hair
A conversation with Robert Pezely

You may look great with facial hair and if you like it, then you should keep it.  And:

1.  Facial Hair always makes people look older.  Some people dye their gray hair to look younger.  Others shave.

2.  A goatee is the first sign of someone trying to hide too much weight.  Goatees serve as an illusion for where your chin(s) end.  This may help your face look thinner but isn’t really going to hide what’s below your goatee.  If you take the first point into consideration it’s likely you just look like an old fat person.  Might be time for a shave.

3.  One who spends that much time grooming and manicuring their facial hair may be perceived as one who needs something better to do with their time.  Shave it off and get on with your life!

4.  There was a French comedian who equated goatees to talking vaginas.  This basically ended the trend of goatees and facial hair in Europe.  So if you want to stay up with the latest Euro-trends then you may want to consider shaving… vagina face.

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